Day 25: Blue

This is a headcannon I wrote for my facebook page, Panemaniacs. I have  five. Enjoy!

Its very early on the morning of the reaping. I am sitting criss-crossed on a bluff and looking straight down into the turbulent waves. I used to panic every time I came out here, but now its a symbol of everything I have overcome, all of the things that no longer scare me. I stand up at the edge of the bluff and scream as loud as I can, just to let out the tension of the day. All the bad memories of this place need to be scared away.

This is where my mother fell and was swallowed by the ocean. This is where my father jumped because he couldn’t live with out her.

I used to hate them for leaving tiny Jayce and I alone. But I don’t anymore. I just miss them. But I am better now, it has been around five years. I try not to really count, I wouldn’t be able to let go. I am amazed to find that the gripping sadness leaves me with a sense of strength.

And after all I still have Jayce, Amoya, my best friend, Sortiana, my cousin, and Marina, my aunt. Marina is quiet and caring and takes care of us like we are her own. I still have a family, so I am luckier than some.

I take my time walking to the square, as it is still a little early, and the fog from the ocean is thick over district four.

Sand coats the pavement everywhere here and it is gritty under my bare feet. Many people are walking around in their reaping clothes and I start to run to my house so I can change into my clothes in time. I bang the door open and no one even looks up, they are used to my loud entrances.

“Get up! We have to go! Why are you all sitting around?” I shout. I really mean: This is a very stressful day and I love you all. But I cant say that. Not unless… No I can’t think like that. I am strong.

But Claria, you have sixteen entries. I tell my stupid inner voice to shut it.

“At least we are dressed! You look like crap.” says Sortiana. She is dressed in a sea green dress, much more beautiful than the loose black dress that is my reaping outfit.

I roll my eyes and go to help Jayce button his shirt. He is only ten, and I love him more than anything. I will never let him take out any tessarae. I don’t care how hungry we get, its better than being dead.

I tuck in his shirt and kiss him on the forehead.

“Now you be good silly boy. No throwing things or spitting or yelling.” He makes a serious face and nods and hugs me. And then runs to Sortiana and hugs her too. Sortiana is 18 and has 24 entries to the reaping. The odds are much less in her favor than they are in mine.

The four of us walk to the town center together and are seperated as soon as we get there. In the fifteen-year-old section I see Amoya and walk over and give her a swift hug. She perches on her toes to see over the crowd and I scan the sixteen-year-old’s section for Rusell. I have been in love with him since I was twelve and we sat next to each other in class. We talked all that year, and then he never talked to me again because we never had any classes together. He suddenly catches my gaze and gives me a small smile. I blush and turn away, but don’t have time to be embarrassed because the ceremony has started. The mayor reads to us the history of Panem, and it is all going so fast, and our capitol escort, Jessa Crossler, is pulling a name. “Amoya Depoco.”

Amoya lets out a hiss of air and walks tensly up to the stage where she stands with her chin jerked up.

No! I think. She can’t die, she has no one but her father. He will fall apart without her.

Most people who volunteer are Career tributes who have trained their whole lives for the games. I can swim faster than anyone I know, and my job is gutting the fish, so I can use a knife. I have a better chance than Amoya, not more than five feet tall, and who was always given the easy jobs because of it. “Any volunteers?” Asks Jessa Crossler.

There is a beat of silence. “I volunteer.” I whisper. And then, “I volunteer!” I yell as loud as I can. Peacekeepers take Amoya off the stage and she kicks and screams with all her might. I mount the stage and I have no fear, just strength. I will win.

Title Borrowed From: Love the Bad Guy